Baby Dean, my mother’s day gift. Hello my boy, we just met but I feel like I have known you my whole lifetime.
You were born yesterday morning at 4.50am, at home, in our bed. We weren’t expecting to welcome you into the world at home but I am so happy that’s what you decided for us. You were in such a hurry to enter this world. I want to tell you the story of your birth…
Your big brother Ethan woke me during the night because he wasn’t feeling well and I had just gotten him back to sleep around one in the morning. After that I was sleeping lightly and around 2.30am I started to have the familiar rhythmic pains washing over my belly. I stayed in bed for a while just to be sure that it was really happening, after weeks of being so ready to have you, and anticipating that first feeling of labor I wanted to be sure it was real. I decided I couldn’t sleep so I ran a hot bubble bath. It was so dark in the bathroom and the cold air was coming in through the window from outside. I lit some candles and played some soothing meditation music and in the orange flickering glow of the candle light it felt like a little cocoon. I spent an hour gently lulling in the water. The feeling in my body wasn’t so intense yet, rubbing my belly in big soft circle motions was enough to sooth and comfort. After an hour, it was getting a little strained to lay on my back and I thought your Daddy might want to know that you were on your way. I didn’t want to wake him too early because I imagined we would have a long day ahead of us and he would need his rest too. I crawled back into bed and tried to relax and snuggle under the blankets, but I couldn’t be still. I had three or four intense rushes and had to get on all fours and rock and sway my whole body to cope with it. That got your Daddy out of bed and I thought he should go wake Nanny and let her know it was beginning.
It was about 4.15am by now and your Nanny came in to sit with me. I wanted to stay at home as long as possible before going to hospital. I called the midwives just to let them know that my labor had started and we’d be in later in the morning. While I was on the phone an intense contraction overwhelmed me, I dropped the phone on the floor and Nanny had to finish the conversation for me. After that rush I had another one that consumed me and I thought we should go, now, to the hospital. Your Daddy went to put my bags in the car and I walked out of my bedroom but had to sit down on a chair, when I sat I felt all the blood rush from my head. I felt so pale and woozy. I was so light-headed and went loose like rag doll.
Suddenly I became nauseous and had to run to the kitchen sink to vomit. I told mum I didn’t think I could get to the hospital, at this point the thought of getting in the car was impossible. I told her to call an Ambulance. Then I had the same feeling that I had just before Ethan was born. I felt like I just had to sit on the toilet. As soon as I sat down I felt a gush of liquid and knew it was my waters breaking. Instantly I groaned so heavily, I could feel you pushing down and I howled to your Daddy, the baby’s coming! He was calling the ambulance and Nanny was telling me to get to the bed. I took a few steps and had to put my hand between my legs to hold your head, I thought you were going to slide out onto the floor. I kept saying, oh the baby’s coming!
I got to the doorway of our room and your Daddy helped me onto the bed. Nanny was getting instructions from the emergency services on the phone. You were one step ahead of us the whole time. As soon as I crawled onto the bed on my hands and knees your head was already showing. I heard your Daddy cry that you were all blue and that frightened me. Your Daddy told me to wait for the next contraction and use that energy to push. I did what he said and in that one push you were born into his arms. You came out all milky and purple and your Daddy rubbed your back until you cried and opened your lungs and took your first big breaths of air. You quickly turned pink and I held you in my arms wrapped in blanket that Nanny gave us.
We were all completely overwhelmed and in awe of each other. Your Nanny and your daddy were amazing. Your Daddy was such a wonderful birth partner when your big brother was born two years ago and this time he was even more so. It all happened so quickly but it was perfect.
A few minutes later the ambulance arrived and the three of us went to the hospital where they cut the cord and checked you over and confirmed that you are healthy and beautiful, 7.8lb and 53cm, and that your Daddy did a wonderful job delivering you. Your Nanny stayed at home to be with Ethan, who slept through the whole thing. Later in the morning they both came to visit and Ethan marvelled at you and said ‘hello baby Dean’.
I had a feeling, or maybe just a strong wish that I would meet you on Mother’s Day. It was such a beautiful experience and all the more so for your special timing.
I have been overwhelmed with love and awe during both by childbirth experiences. I wouldn’t describe either as being painful but rather very, very intense. I am a little sad that perhaps this is the last time I will experience it, but I am delighted that now I am in the little bubble of newborn bliss and enchanted by your newness and how little and precious you are.
Little Piece of Pie 